 | Current mood:click on the links I got home yesterday and went to put my audit bag in my room like I always do. As I passed by Milkshake Strawberry's fish bowl I took a look in. I normally don't pay much attention, because she is a fish and it is unnatural for me to a fish around me without my hook in its mouth. But for some reason I did look yesterday and Milkshake Strawberry wasn't there. She has jumped out of the bowl in the past, but the rest of the family had been gone for a couple of hours so I feared the worst. After looking closer, I noticed her motionless body laying on top of the desk next to the back of the bowl. As I reached for her, she jumped off the desk and fell about 5 feet onto the carpet. I gathered her up and returned her to her home (catch and release, just like in the wild). She seems to be fine now. It was a good thing I saw her when I did, because the rest of the family wasn't scheduled to come back any time soon. I don't know why I checked on her, but my theory is that I have some special ability to sense where fish are(sort of like Aqua Man). That would explain why I catch so many fish. I think the fish community is going to have some sort of a parade in my honor now. Is it still called a parade if it involves boats? It should, because there are floats in a parade, and not many things float better than boats. |
| Current mood:Devin Hester! As a part of the continuing celebration of Black History Month, today is Ground Hog's Day. I don't really know what the connection is between the two, but suspect it has something to do with the shadow. The ground hog didn't see his shadow today, which means that we avoided 6 more weeks of Winter. I really don't know how a ground hog ended up with the power to make that decision or how accurate the whole process is, but I welcome anytime we can rely on an animal to predict the weather. They couldn't be any worse than a meteorologist. The evening news would be more entertaining if you had various weather predictions listed on different cards and then a platypus would wobble over and pick one up. It would definitely save the news station money on that Doppler 800,000+. I've been reading The Indian in the Cupboard to Skyler. I think I had to read it in like fourth grade. I found it in a box while organizing my garage and wanted to read it again. It isn't the easiest read in the world. From what we have read so far, it seemed to me that it was written by a Brit. After looking it up this morning, my suspicions were confirmed. Lynne Reid Banks is from London, and apparently still living. The main character's name is Omri, which seems pretty cool to me. It has been made into a movie, which I plan on watching with Skyler when we are done. She seems to enjoy it so far, but it took a little while for her to accept that Little Bear was an Indian and not the cartoon bear she is familiar with. It would be an interesting twist if the cupboard did turn things into cartoon bears though. Random recollection: I met a guy at church a few years back who said he wrote animal novels. I wasn't sure if that meant he wrote books to read to your pets or if they were just about animals. When I asked him he gave me some long answer that almost lulled me to sleep. I don't recall what the actually answer was, but based on that conversation I assume that the books are to help people and pets fall asleep. I did go by his home for some reason and his dogs helped reinforce my fear of dogs. |
| Current mood:basketball There are a couple of interesting things happening in the news right now. The whole astronaut diaper thing is a little bizarre, but at least it may bring back some good Tang jokes. Speaking of Tang, I used to love drinking the maracuya flavored Tang in Ecuador. I have been unsuccessful in obtaining that flavor in the states. In my current search I have noticed that there is a new passion fruit flavor, but haven't been able to find it anywhere. O.K. that's enough Tang for now. Maybe I'm crazy, but I remember when the Space Shuttle launch and landing used to be a big event. I think they go up there all the time now. I remember that we watched that one blow up while we were sitting in class in elementary school. It was one of the few times we got to watch T.V. in school. I think there is also some sort of opportunity to use the "it doesn't take a rocket scientist" line here too. My favorite current story in the news is about John Amaechi. To celebrate Black History Month he decided to announce that he was gay. I'm really happy about Black History Month too, but I don't know why he needs to write a book about it. Wait….He must mean the other kind of gay. This story really interests me, but not because of the whole gay thing. One of the funniest things in the world to me is to hear black people speak with an English accent. It gets me every time. That is part of what makes the Teletubbies enjoyable. There is always a chance that some black Brit is going to be beamed through Tinky Winky's belly talking about bloody knickers and tea. We won't be seeing any black red coats on Lost any time soon. I watched last night and still get the sense that the writers don't know how they are going to tie everything together. All that happened last night was that they gave us another storyline about another character. I'm really losing my patience with the show. There was a summary show on before the new episode. I tried to watch that, but all the writers were trying to do was convince us that the island wasn't as important as the stories about the characters. So I guess we are just supposed to forget about the smoke monster and the polar bears and the ship wreck up in the mountains. I am losing interest quick, but could easily be entertained again if Ponch ended up on the island some how. Maybe he is trying to sell some island property on T.V. and just happens to get stuck on the island. That would be pretty awesome. |
| Current mood: full We had dinner with some friends last night at P.F. Changs (The P.F. stands for pricey food). We get to the end of dinner and our waiter brings out the fortune cookies. Here is the fortune that I pulled out: "An admirer is concealing his affection for you." I don't know why I have to keep expressing this, but I am not gay. Sure, I listen to Morrissey, am very clean, and have a strange appreciation of Ponch. That doesn't make me gay. However, I can understand why someone would be desirous of me. I wish there was a switch to turn off my good looks and charm, but it doesn't exist. So, to my male secret admirer, I am very flattered by your concealed affection, but that is as far as it is going to go. I hate to disappoint you, but I am sure that there is still somebody else out there for you. Good luck with that. |
| Current mood:abled The other day I noticed a van parked in a lot that had a whole lot of extra buttons near the dash. Through my super sleuthing abilities I figured out that it was set up for a person in a wheel chair to drive it. Some may think that this would be a scary thought knowing that people who don't have control over their whole body are behind the wheel of motor vehicles, but I think they have more experience getting a vehicle around than most drivers. Sure, they have to use their teeth to turn on their turn signal, but how many of us don't do that? There seemed to be a ton more buttons than necessary to drive a van though. Maybe they had a lot of other cool stuff in the van, like a blender to make smoothies while they drive. I've always wondered about the parking situation at the Special Olympics. Can they designate the whole lot as handicapped parking? What about the non-cappers? They probably have to park very, very far away. Upon continued contemplation, I remember that there is a recklessly blind lady in our office towers. I call her recklessly blind, because she hardly ever uses her walking stick and she definately needs to. I had to catch a big vase that she knocked over one morning. Had I not been there, it would have resulted in a huge mess. Maybe she gets tired of using the stick, but I notice her not using it a bunch, and I am sure that it results in her bumping into things all the time. Maybe if I were blind, I would be reckless too? |
| Current mood: groggy I don't vote, but if I did, I would never vote for Hilary Clinton. I don't trust any woman who won't drop her last name for her husband's. I don't know if ubiquity is a word, but it should be. You really don't hear much from Ashford and Simpson these days. Kobe is the new T.O. I wish they could make miniature pandas at an affordable price. I've seen enough of Dane Cook to know that I don't think he is very funny. I miss Mitch Hedberg. I would like to challenge an oil executive to a dance off, with the loser paying for the winner's gas for a year. They would get served! I liked it better when you could sort MySpace Music by number of downloads. Are there big wheel races for adults anywhere? Tupac is either still alive, or somebody who sounds like him is making a lot of money. I miss the magazine rack at Tower Records. Bingo on T.V.? Really? Kung Fu Hustle is way better than Shaolin Soccer. Passion Fruit was appropriately named. Jerry Stiller is a comedic genius. There should be no speed limit in the carpool lane. Instead of indecent exposure, if the person is hot, they should call it decent exposure. Backyard BBQ Chunky Soup is delicious. They are running out of time to make the A-Team movie, because there is nobody else who could play B.A. Architects should play Jenga to see who gets a building contract. I think Brawny could totally take The Green Giant. |
| Current mood:catching I'm sure I don't have to remind you Californians, but this Saturday(June 9th) is one of two "Free Fishing Days" in California. What does this mean? It means that you can go fishing without a license. It also means that I am taking some of our church's youth fishing on Saturday. I will not reveal the location that we are headed to, because I don't want anybody trying to steal our fish (plus, I still haven't really decided.) It has been over a year since I fished in our lovely state, so it is well overdue. We will be fishing some sort of stream or creek, since that is my specialty, and I can't stand sitting around while I wait for fish. To get in the fishing frame of mind I popped in an old video of Idaho and me fishing up in Utah. It was great to relive the times of taking "The White Stallion" out in the wilderness and getting lost in the environment for hours. I love living in California, but I sure do miss fishing in Utah. I also miss hanging out with Idaho (If you are currently questioning my sexuality, see a previous blog of mine to clarify how gay I am not). Idaho and I were missionary companions and then we met up again when we both went to BYU. We used to go fishing pretty much on a weekly basis. Since that time a lot has happened and we have been out of touch for a few years. Maybe one day in the future we will have a fishing reunion? Speaking of reunions, yesterday I was reunited with Ponch trying to sell me real estate on T.V. I was just flipping around the limited number of stations we get and happened to notice him. It was surprising that Kenji didn't automatically Tivo him, until I noticed the three red thumbs down at the top of the screen. To explain to you non-Tivoers, You can rate the shows that you watch to help Tivo suggest other shows to you. The remote has a green thumbs up button and a red thumbs down button. You can give programs a rating from 3 thumbs up to 3 thumbs down. Then Tivo will record similar programs based on your ratings when it isn't already scheduled to record. Sara obviously tried to sabotage Ponch from being broadcast in our home, so I may have done a little adjusting to some of her shows. How dare she deny me of Ponch! (Once again, I feel the need to state that I am very much in love with my female wife and am not attracted to other men.) I saw a blind man crossing the street last week. He was walking with his stick in front of him, like blind people should. However, there was a car that had just missed the light and was in the middle of the crosswalk. So, I got to witness the blind man hitting the car over and over again with his stick, trying to figure out what was blocking his path and how to get around it. It brought a smile to my face. |
| Current mood: tired This weekend was uneventfully entertaining. My Friday began with someone calling my cell phone and asking for someone named Luis. When I told them they had the wrong number they said, "no I don't" and continued to stay on the line as if I was going to magically transform into Luis. So, I hung up and got about three more calls from Luis' acquaintance. Here is his phone number in case anyone else wants to Alex Wang him: (814) 459-3085. In case you are not familiar with the verb Alex Wang, here is a description. When I was a young lad, and before cell phones became functional and affordable there were things called pagers. Alex Wang was a real estate agent where we grew up. He decided to include his pager number on the notepads he left on our porch. So, we would page him with other people's phone numbers multiple times a day over a very long period of time. Alex was very dedicated, and never seemed to pass up a potential sale. He would call the number on his pager and say, "This is Alex Wang. Did you page me?" He would do it over and over again. This caused David Guzman's mother hours of fun. Technology has taken away some easy entertainment. Remember the good old days of prank calls? We used to randomly pick out names in the phone book and tell them they just won money from the Mighty 690. Then caller i.d. and *69 came along. I'm sure all the Richard Heads in the phone book were grateful for those advances in technology, but I'm not too stoked. You used to even be able to call your own phone. We found that out the hard way when we decided to prank call the number written on the phone in my grandparent's den. My father's voice on the other end of the line was an unpleasant surprise.
I watched The Bourne Identity over the weekend and really enjoyed it. I thought I would be disappointed, because other people had hyped it up for me. But it was really good. I could relate to him not remembering. Kevin and Bean were talking about The Bourne Ultimatum this morning and they had people call in who suffer from amnesia. The majority of them had their amnesia after some traumatic event. After my head trauma, I don't recall the event that caused it and some things that happened around that time are real hazy for me. |
2 comments:
i'd like to be invited to the dance off with the oil executive, if it ever happens.
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