Read the Instructions First

There are certain items that I recall being advertised quite frequently during my youth. The ad campaigns must have been really effective, because to this day I am convinced that some really lame products are actually cool. For example, as a youngster I remember being pretty impressed by the Easy Bake Oven (insert mandatory "I like girls" statement here). I think it had a lot to do with what was made with the Easy Bake Oven, because all kids want something that produces a sugary treat. We all know that ovens are for girls, so I never asked for one growing up. But once Skyler was born, I knew she would be the proud owner of her own Easy Bake Oven. Sara wasn't sold on the idea(probably because she had one when she was a delicate flower), so we didn't get her one. However, my parents must have known my desires and bought one for her a couple years back. I was very excited to get it out and help Skyler to bake a treat for daddy. We opened the box, emptied out the contents and I began reading the instructions. The first thing that struck me as odd was the need for a light bulb. Why would you need a light bulb? Maybe to be able to lite up the oven and see the treats inside? To my dismay, I figured out that the light bulb did the baking. A light bulb! I don't remember a light bulb being mentioned in the commercials! I just remember a batter filled pan going in one side of the oven and baked deliciousness instantly coming out of the other side! For those of you who are not expert light bulb bakers, it takes a very, very, very, very, very, very long time to bake a cookie the size of my nipples(which are abnormally small, by the way). I now dread hearing the words, "Dad, can we use my Easy Bake Oven?" I know that it will require at least an hour of my time, and the result won't even be large enough to share.

Flash forward to this Christmas. I opened my present from Skyler and was stoked to find a Chia Head. It was another thing that looked really good on T.V. when I was younger. I was happy to find that Skyler has grown accustomed to my weirdness, because she got me it without me even mentioning it. After the fact, I did recall her singing the Chia song around the house at times. So, a few days after Christmas we opened it up, followed the instructions and this is the result:
It doesn't look nearly as great as it did on T.V. At least I now know where Phil Spector gets his hairdo ideas from. I don't know what I am going to do with this. Maybe I can just hide it in the garden? These are only two examples, but I have had similar experiences with The Clapper. I can only imagine what my disappointment is going to be like when I finally get my Sea Monkeys.
Have you ever had a similar experience?

Along that same line, Sara and Skyler came to the decision that Skyler would grow her hair out to donate to Locks of Love. I was very impressed that Skyler would support a great cause at such a young age. I thought I would be supportive of Skyler and grow my hair out too. It has been growing for a while and has gotten past my collar. Sara has been telling me to get a hair cut, so I decided to finally research how long your hair has to be in order to donate it. It turns out that it has to be 10 inches below the collar! That is going to take me a very long time. So, I am struggling to figure out what I am going to do. Skyler's hair seems much closer to being long enough to donate. When I last measured, she was over half way there. Here is a picture I took of it tonight.