What's on Your List?

We watched "The Bucket List" tonight. I say we, because Sara and I started watching it together, but she fell asleep. That is strange, because that has never happened in the past (typed with sarcasm). I personally enjoyed the movie. However, I think that Morgan Freeman is the best actor in the world, so I may be a little biased. I really like movies that cause you to self-analyze your life. And essentially, this is one of those movies. The bucket list is a list of things to do before you die. While I can see how this movie would inspire people to sit down and make their own bucket lists, my laziness has overpowered that desire. Justin Zackham wrote the movie and mentions in the special features that there will soon be a book full of various bucket lists. I do have a desire to read the book, which is surprising because reading makes me fall asleep. At the end of the book there is going to be an empty page for you to write your own list. I think I will wait until I get to that point, but I think it will be interesting to read. Mr. Zackham said that the lists will be in order of the age of the person who wrote them. I wonder if there will be a pattern amongst the age groups. I wouldn't be surprised if the younger lists involved obtaining material things and the older lists focused more on experiencing things. Here is a John Mayer music video from the film:

For Kyle

I saw a couple of videos today that reminded me of my brother. I know he is "too busy" to get on the internet, but here they are anyway:



This one requires you to wait until about the 1 minute mark. Be patient.

Gay Update

The rainbow antenna ball has already been stolen. Does that make the thief gay?
Speaking of gay thieves:

Politicians are Gay?

On our most recent trip to Disneyland, my mother-in-law asked Skyler to get her a new antenna ball. This is something Skyler has done for a few years now. Here is the one Skyler picked out this time:
What did you think of when you first saw it? Some people immediately associate this with homosexuals. According to wikipedia the rainbow, specifically rainbow flags, became a symbol of gay pride in the late 70's. Apparently, this must mean that my mother-in-law will be showing her gay pride by displaying the antenna ball. Maybe she has some gay pride that I don't know about, but I'm pretty sure she doesn't. Which makes me wonder why the gay people were able to lay claim to the rainbow. I personally enjoy rainbows, but displaying one shouldn't automatically make me gay.

This brings me to a larger issue that has been brought to light recently. Same-sex marriage is currently legal in the State of California. How is this possible? Didn't the California voters vote in favor of Prop 22 (which states "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California") in 2000? Yes, that is what the voters decided. And, that was the law up until this month. Essentially, 4 people decided that the majority was incapable of deciding what we want. In a California Supreme Court ruling(in a 4-3 decision), Prop 22 was ruled unconstitutional. So, it only took 1 Supreme Court Justice to overrule what California voters want in their constitution. Does that sound flawed to anyone else? Here is the beauty of all of this; on November 4, 2008 California voters will get the chance to vote on adding the following amendment to the state's constitution, "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." Does that sound familiar? It should, because it is exactly what Prop 22 was. Are we going to vote on this issue every eight years?

Here is my opinion about all of this. I believe that homosexuality is a choice. I believe that acting on homosexual desires is a sin. There are numerous items I could address to support this point(i.e. The fact that it is impossible for same-sex couples to reproduce, Adam and Eve, etc.), but I am sure most everyone has heard the arguments before. However, I respect people's agency to chose how they live their lives. If you want to be gay, that is your decision. What I don't respect is when peoples' decisions affect me. How is this affecting me? First of all it is going to affect my taxes. You benefit from being able to file jointly as opposed to filing as single. If the state is getting less taxes from people's income as the taxes are set currently, what is bound to happen? Taxes are going to be raised, because if there is one thing for sure it is that the government is always going to get its money. So, even though I don't support same-sex marriage I still will have to pay more because of it.

That isn't even the real issue that bothers me. What bothers me is the fact that we have a good system of government in place that is being destroyed by corrupt politicians. This is a perfect case. Prop 22 was challenged by the Mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom. After listening to an address by President Bush supporting an amendment to the U.S. Constitution to ban gay marriage, he made it a point to defy the current law and issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. What was his punishment for openly defying the law? Nothing. Eventually the Supreme Court of California voided the licenses, but nothing was ever done to the Mayor. This happens time and time again, where our politicians can show blatant disregard for the laws they are supposed to be upholding. It is understandable that the Mayor of San Francisco would have motives for doing what he did. He was easily re-elected in his next term. But it bothers me that our society voted on what we believe to be morally correct, and then one person was able to start the process of nullifying our votes. At least this one person was a good judge of morals (typed sarcastically). Unfortunately, this is not the case. Mayor Newsom thought that it would be O.K. to have an affair with the wife of his campaign manager. Politicians sure do seem to have enough time to fit affairs in their schedules. Perhaps it would be better to focus more time on dealing with our energy problems and less time diddling somebody else's spouse. I'm just saying.

(p.s. My T-shirt idea: "I'm not gay, I just really like rainbows.")

FREE GAS! (sort of)

Jack in the Box is trying to help in the crisis of high gas prices. This Thursday they are offering 2 free tacos if you bring in a gas receipt. While this will not help your car, you will enjoy some gas of your own.


In recent years I have come to enjoy Jack's advertising strategy. This is another brilliant idea for a few reasons. The tacos they are giving away usually cost you a buck (at the one by my Mike and Deb's it used to be 3 for 99 cents), which means that they really aren't costing them much to make in the first place. 2 tacos aren't going to fill you up. So, when you go there you will most likely purchase more. They also play on your emotions about the increased gas prices. Jack in the Box feels for you, so they will give you something to help with the pain. Never mind the fact that if the restaurant isn't along your normally traveled route, you will probably pay more on gas to get the tacos than the tacos would have cost you. Jack, you are a genius.

As a side note, when discussing future potential office eating competitions these tacos have been suggested numerous times. I would be surprised if we didn't eat them next. However, after the last competition, I would be more surprised if we had another eating competition.

2 Days of Disney

Sara's sister and her two sons have been in town for a while. This past Monday and Tuesday trips to "Walt Disneyland" were made. Here are some pictures and videos to prove it:
Day 1

On Monday my whole family, except for Bodie, along with Eva and her sons went. We arrived in the afternoon. Ken and Anna's family showed up later on in the day. Geronimo was sporting the stylish eye wear for the occasion.
First on the list for Aidan was Indiana Jones. He and I went on that while the rest of the group enjoyed an air-conditioned helping of The Tiki Room. It was pretty hot, so the kids tried to find shade wherever possible. Aidan had a V.I.P. pass that helped us get on most of the rides pretty quickly. This was not the case with Pirates of the Caribbean. I think it took longer to wait in the V.I.P. line than the regular line.
Sara and Cooper waiting for Pirates.
Here's proof that Eva came too.
Jedi Training
Geronimo's #1 thing to do is Jedi Training. Aidan likes to do it too. Luckily for us, they both got picked to be trained.



Aidan got picked first.


Geronimo got picked second.
Geronimo was pretty vicious with Darth Vader this time. I was quite proud.

After Jedi Training I took Skyler and Aidan and we went off on our own. We went on Buzz Lightyear and Star Tours before heading over to California Adventure. While there, we enjoyed our free tortillas from the Mission Tortilla Factory. Then we experienced California Screamin' 3 times, Soarin' Over California, Mulholland Madness, Monsters Inc., and Orange Stinger. It was the first time any of us had been on Orange Stinger and it was pretty much what you would expect, riding on a swing in a circle. There are rumors that Disney will be changing the theme of the ride in the near future. It couldn't really get any more basic. Aidan was not a fan of Mulholland Madness, as it made his butt hurt. Showing him this hidden Mickey wasn't much consolation. We were able to ride a ton of rides in a very short amount of time. That is usually how it is at California Adventure. Even though it is just across from Disneyland, I still think there are a ton of people who don't know about it. I like it that way because it is far less crowded than Disneyland. To emphasize that point, Disneyland was so crowded that while we went on all of those rides, the other group went on Storybook Land, The Teacups, and maybe one other ride. Here's the Teacups experience:

Random picture from day one. I like the lady in the background doing the "Thinker" pose. That is straight out of Modeling 101.
Day 2

On Tuesday the younger bunch of our group stayed home. That just left me, Skyler, and Aidan. My mom joined us as well. We started off at California Adventure, because we wanted to try out the new ride, Toy Story Mania!, which opened to the general public for the first time that day. We made Aidan take the obligatory stand by your initial picture.
We went on a lot of the rides for a second time that day. We went on California Screamin' multiple times again. We also went on Golden Zephyr.
Toy Story Mania!
We passed by this ride on Monday, while the media was being allowed to ride it. When I had heard about this ride, it was described as a combination of Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin, and the Muppet Vision 3D show. The line to get on was at least a 2 hour wait. Lucky for us, we had the V.I.P. pass. The ride was actually having problems when we went by the first time. When we came back it had just started running again, and we only had to wait about 5 minutes. For those who had to wait in the other line Mr. Potato Head kept them company.

It is a 3D experience, so we all had to wear these cool glasses.It is pretty much a shooting ride, where you accumulate points based on the targets you hit. While you are shooting the 3D effects make it seem like things are shooting back at you. You also get shot with air and sprayed with water.
Here is a video of the ride in Florida:


Here is the review of the ride from the four of us. Skyler didn't like it, because she doesn't like 3D. My mom and Aidan both liked it. I wasn't a huge fan of it. We did go on it again later, but I would never wait in a 2 hour line for it. I didn't like the guns. The second time we went on it, the string from my gun wasn't going back in to reload. I can only imagine what it will be like in two months. All things considered, I guess it wasn't too bad. While the ride was broken, we tried to go on King Triton's Carousel. After everyone got strapped in they announced that it wasn't working either. How hard is it to make something spin slowly in a circle?
Aidan got one look of somebody eating these giant turkey legs, and it was all he could talk about until we got him one. To his credit, he ate just about all of it. Bravo!

They wanted to go on Orange Stinger again.


Skyler loves to go on Jumpin Jellyfish. Luckily for me, she had somebody else to ride with her this time. I can't stand this ride.
After the jellyfish it was time for the parade to start. Aidan was super stoked to see it on Monday, so I figured he would be excited to see it again. I think the awesomeness wore off the second time around.

We also rode Soarin' Over California again before heading over to Walt Disneyland. We went over to Indiana Jones first. After that we rode on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad(a.k.a. Jiminy Cricket).
We then rode on Space Mountain and finished the night off with Buzz Lightyear. By the time we got back to the car it was around 11 p.m. A good, tiring time was had by all.

Random picture from day 2: Check out what this dude is packing in his right hand.Here are some of our photos from the rides.

Skyler's Lucky Number

Today we celebrate Skyler's 7th birthday! I really can't believe how quickly time goes by. Skyler is our first-born, and will always hold a special place in my heart. Of all of our children, she seems to be the only one who actually likes me (a little bit). I think this is due to the fact that she was born while I was still in college and Sara was working. I was able to spend a lot more time with her as an infant than I have with the other children. While the other kids just view me as an obstacle from getting to Sara, Skyler may stop sometimes and ask for my assistance before disregarding me and going to Sara.

Here are just a few of the great things about Skyler:

• Her middle name starts with my favorite letter in the alphabet, the silent K.
• She is very artistic and creative.
• She has taught me about "feelings". (Growing up without any sisters, I wasn't too aware of that whole sensitivity thing. I'm still not too much into it, but at least Skyler has got me started.)
• She has always been very well-behaved. She wasn't much of a screamer as a baby and she always has been pretty laid-back. (We really were spoiled as parents by Skyler and Geronimo when they were babies. I sometimes refer to that time period as the calm before Hurricane Cooper.)
• She is good at making friends. When I pick her up at school, all kinds of kids tell her goodbye. She's only in the 1st grade, but there are lots of the older kids who know her too. Maybe I can live my life's dream of being popular through her.
  
• Her math skills are superb. (What accountant wouldn't be proud of that?)
• She likes Star Wars.

I will never forget the day she was born. It's ironic because at the time, I didn't know much of what was happening. For those of you who haven't heard, here is the story of Skyler's birth.

We were living in Utah at the time, and I would go fishing quite frequently. On a fishing trip with my friend "Scuba Steve" I scraped up my leg on some twigs. It left a decent looking wound, but it didn't bother me and I didn't think anything of it. The following Friday I went and played some pick-up basketball at the local playground. The wound on my leg turned out to be more than just a scratch. All the physical exertion from playing basketball got my blood flowing and caused me to start itching all over my body. When I got home I hoped that a cold shower would make the itching stop, but it didn't. I made it through Friday night, but the itching became unbearable.

Just as my problems were getting worse, Sara started going into labor. Naturally, I made her go to the store and get me some oatmeal to bathe in to see if that would work. It didn't and oozing blisters had started to form all over my body. The leg wound was oozing profusely as well. At that point the university medical center was closed until Monday morning, and we needed to get Sara to the hospital. So, Sara suggested I take some Benadryl. I asked her how many pills to take and thought that she said 4. It turns out that she actually said 2. Picture this: We arrive at the hospital with Sara experiencing labor for the first time and me covered in blisters that are oozing enough that I'm just sticking paper towels all over my body to absorb it. Add to that the fact that I am now stoned out of my mind on a double dose of Benadryl. (It did stop the itching though.) I couldn't even stand up. So, Skyler's birth occurred with me sitting in a chair next to Sara holding her hand and having no idea what was going on around me. My vision was hazy, which was great because I really didn't want to get a clear view of all that was going on. And, overall I am sure that I was absolutely no help during the birth (Which isn't any different from the other 3 births). On Monday morning Skyler was born. I got to hold her for a few minutes before I rushed off to the medical center to get myself treated. It was a very eventful weekend.

At the medical center I saw a doctor who told me that he had never seen something like what I had (This would be the first of two times in my life, so far, that a doctor would say that to me). He then proceeded to call all the other doctors in to have a look at me and eventually asked me if he could take pictures of me to possibly submit to a medical journal. He also cut out one of the blisters to do a biopsy on. He gave me some medicine to stop the itching and eventually the blisters went away. We still don't know what it was. And that is the story of Skyler's birth. I highly recommend that all husbands take 4 Benadryl right before going to the hospital.

Happy Birthday Skyler!

He's Not Our Step-Father

Happy Father's Day Mike!

Many people have mistakenly assumed that Mike was our step-father, because we call him by his first name. As far as we know, he is our birth father. I don't remember when or why we started calling him Mike, but it has stuck. Here is a picture of him with his gift last year.

Hello My Name is Dr. Greenthumb

I now know that I am capable of nurturing something to grow to be over 6 feet tall. This is a good thing, because we are really banking on Skyler's WNBA money to retire on. My major stress reducer used to be sports. Now that weekly basketball isn't an option, gardening has been a minor replacement. It still isn't nearly as enjoyable as basketball, but it does help. However, recently I have been feeling like I am getting really close to being able to play again. (I haven't mentioned any of this to Sara yet, so let's keep that on the down low). Now, back to my sunflowers. I am very proud of the fact that I planted the seeds that resulted in this. I don't recall ever having planted seeds that turned into flowers actually blooming. I water them almost every day and they are still growing. I have a ton of them growing and some of them are supposed to grow up to over 10 feet tall. Maybe then I can put the real Patrick Ewing in my garden.

Bunk and Circumstance

I hate graduations. I've never enjoyed walking in them growing up. I suppose that being called "Joseph" Kelley at my high school graduation didn't help. I've heard people say that you grow to appreciate things more when you have kids. When it comes to graduations, that really hasn't done it for me yet. Which brings us to yesterday. Geronimo graduated from preschool. It may sound like a huge accomplishment, but I really haven't heard of anybody not graduating from preschool. Could you imagine that conversation?

Teacher: We're sorry Mr. and Mrs. Kelley, but Geronimo's finger painting skills really aren't going to allow him to advance to kinder.

Sara: Is there anything we can do?

Teacher: Well, we do have a summer program for the children who aren't finger painting at the expected level. If he can pass, then he will advance. If not, he is going to have to repeat preschool next year. Either way, he won't be able to walk in our graduation.

I think that I have grown to dislike graduations even more now that our kids have done them. It isn't so much because of the kids, but because of all the unbelievably idiotic parents. If you have been to a preschool graduation, you know exactly who I am talking about. For example, yesterday we arrived a little early to get good seats and to be close enough to take pictures and videos. All the people who showed up later just decided to stand up in front of us. I guess they figured that they were the only ones with kids graduating. The program listing all the other kids wasn't a big enough tip off. I was set up to film all the kids walking to the stage and just as Geronimo was getting in the frame some numb skull steps in front of me to film his own kid. I was really close to thanking him for letting me film his arm graduating. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wouldn't have looked back at me a couple of times and realized that he was in my way, and still continued to be in my picture. We had another lady during one of the songs walk in front of every camera to get close enough to take a picture of her kid. I could go on and on about making guys wear dresses and hats that you can't wear any place else, but I'm pretty tired.

Here are some pictures and videos of Geronimo on his graduation day:

Weekend Update with Kevin Nealon

Here is a breakdown of what happened this past weekend:
Friday
7:00 p.m. Arrived at the church for the young men/ young women volleyball activity.
While the youth were playing I went and filled up the car with liquid gold and did a few other maintenance checks to make sure it was ready to go.

8:30 p.m. "Helped" the youth set up tables and chairs for the young women's dinner auction on Saturday (Actually, they set up the tables and I set up most of the chairs).

9:00 p.m. Loaded up the car with the young men that had shown up for volleyball. Then we had to stop at two of their homes to pick up things they had forgotten.

10:00 p.m. Arrived at the house and loaded the car for the next day. I explained to the young men that I had 4 children asleep in the house and that they had to keep the noise level to a minimum. At this point we only had 3 young men and my secretary at the house. The other young men had a school dance that they were going to and were to arrive later that night. When we went in the house I popped in Grumpy Old Men to get them hyped about fishing the next morning.

10:30 p.m. The 5 young men from the dance arrived. I loaded their gear in the car and gave them the same noise speech that I had given the other group. I told them that they would probably want to get some sleep because we were getting up at 4 a.m. They asked what was for dinner. I told them that they could eat whatever they brought, because I had told them before that we were only providing breakfast and lunch on Saturday. The follow-up question was if they could walk to the local McDonald's. At this point it was already after 11. The answer was no, and that the Poptarts on Saturday were probably going to taste delicious. I had also told them to bring a small backpack, water, sunscreen and bug spray. About 2 of them actually did that.

11:30 p.m. The last of the young men sleeping over arrived. At this point I was already trying to get some sleep. I am very surprised that none of our kids had awoken yet, because they were louder than old people with their hearing aids set on low. There were 3 young men that had said they were going, but still hadn't arrived. I was hoping that they would be at the house when we got up in the morning.

Saturday
1:30 a.m. Just to clarify, this wasn't the first time that I have had that many of them sleep over at the house and in the past the young men have been very well behaved and actually tried to sleep for a couple of hours. However, that wasn't the case this time. I had taken several trips out to the living room to tell them to zip it up and try and get some sleep. There were a couple of them already asleep, but the majority of them had the goal of not going to sleep. They decided that 1:30 would be a great time to take a bunch of pictures with the flash lighting up the room. They were loud enough to keep me from getting any sleep at that point. So, after numerous trips out there, at 1:30 I told them that while they would be able to sleep during the drive, I would not have that luxury. I said that if I had to come out again it would be to start sending some of them home. That seemed to do the trick and they finally kept it quiet.

Sometime between 1:30 and 2:00 a.m. Geronimo started coughing incessantly. We moved him from his room into our bedroom on the floor. Sara gave him some cough medicine, but it wasn't doing the trick. He coughed for the rest of the morning. One of the young men actually complained later on in the day that Geronimo's coughing kept him from getting some sleep (the statement was responded to with eye rolling). Skyler has also woken up. She was complaining that her stomach was hurting. I gave her a children's Pepto tablet and sent her back to bed.

2:00 a.m. Skyler runs to the bathroom and pukes her brains out. Sara goes to help her in the bathroom and I try and see if there is anything I can do to help. Sara takes care of the situation and sets Skyler up with a big bowl in case she has to hurl again. By the time this is all taken care of it is just about 3 a.m. I still hadn't gotten any sleep.

3:30 a.m. Still not being able to sleep, I finally decided to just get up and get ready to go. I got everything else together and loaded the final things into the car.

3:50 a.m. I start waking some of the boys up, at least the ones that were actually asleep. One of them informs me that Skyler has thrown up again. This time she didn't make it to the bathroom. I got Sara and she took care of Skyler while I cleaned the chunks on the carpet.

4:15 a.m. Everyone was awake and ready to go. The second car had shown up (the dad of a couple of the boys was helping out by coming). One of the 3 missing boys was outside waiting for us too. We handed out the Poptarts, had a prayer, and jumped in the cars. I felt really bad leaving Sara to deal with the sick kids, but at 4:15 I really didn't have a back up plan. So, we had 10 young men and 3 leaders on the road to Silverwood Lake. Kyle and Mike were going to meet us there.

5:40 a.m. We arrived at the lake. They don't open the gates until 6, so we had to wait in the line of cars that had gotten there before us. We were around 10th in line. Mike and Kyle arrived a couple minutes after us.

6:15 a.m. We were in and parked. I had gotten all of the fishing gear set up before we left, so I could just hand them their gear and they could put a lure on or set it up for bait. I learned my lesson about not doing that on a previous trip. Unfortunately, a couple of them had brought their own gear and didn't let me check it out before. I wanted to put new line on their reels, but they never came by. It turns out that they should have. At one point I actually did cut off all the line from one of the reels and put new line on it.

6:30 a.m. Lines started hitting the water. Mike and Kyle were smart and moved as far away from us as possible. I expected that I would spend most of my morning helping them with snags and other various problems. That is exactly what happened. It was between 9:00 and 9:30 when I finally got to cast for the first time. The worst part was that nobody was catching any fish. I discovered why. They were putting bait on the hooks of the lures and basically dragging it through the water. Others were set up for bait fishing and would immediately reel in after casting. My advice was falling on deaf ears and when they weren't catching any fish I wasn't surprised. However, there were some of them that were listening and getting the hang of what they needed to do. As the day went on I spent less time helping them and more time casting out my own lure. Kyle caught a nice sized rainbow trout and that was the only fish caught by our group. The young men did catch plenty of other things though. They caught tons of moss, each other, trees, and me a whole bunch. I got hooked in the leg, arm, back, and hands numerous times. I even got poked in the eye by the tip of a rod. I was busy enough helping all the young men that I didn't really take the time to snap very many pictures. I regret not having a group picture. Here a few of the ones I did take:



At around 10:30 there was a large group of the youth mentioning a desire to be done fishing. Going on no sleep and even less patience, I was more than ready to head back home. Sara had hooked us up with a couple loaves worth of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We split those up between the two cars along with some Pringles and Gatorade and headed back home. My eyelids got a little heavy toward the end of the drive, but everyone else in the car got at least a good hour of sleep. When we got back to the house I unloaded the gear and loaded it in the other cars in record time and they were of to their homes. That was around 1:30.

Skyler was still not well enough to come with us to the baptism, so family pictures would have to wait for another day. Sara's mom was nice enough to come stay with Skyler while the rest of us went to the baptism. While Sara was getting everyone else ready to go I was able to squeeze in a quick trip to the church bookstore for Bryan's gift.

We arrived at the church a couple of minutes after 3:00 and had to wait for some other family members to find their way (Kyle would like to add GPS to his Christmas list). Mike did the ordaining and one of Jed's old Young Men's leaders, Keith, was able to make it out. Keith has always done a good job of being there for Jed. Here is a picture of those who were involved in the ordination.

The ordination was followed by the baptismal service. Three people were baptized. Bryan was the last of the 3 to get dunked. I finally was able to get a little nap in during the talk on baptism. Cyndi gave a talk on The Holy Ghost.


Then, Bryan was confirmed (twice) by Jed. I say twice because somebody whispered to him to say the confirmation part again. Perhaps they had been going on zero sleep too, and weren't paying attention when he said it right the first time. Here is a photo of the people who were in the confirmation circle:
After the meeting was over we went to a park in Mexico to have some pizza and salad. A pizza eating competition was rumored to occur, but after seeing Mr. Mustachio load up his plate with 8 pieces to start the rumor was put to rest.

Here are some other photos taken that day:





Have a nice day.