Goodbye

"Happiness was Provo in the rear view mirror..."-Jim McMahon.

We had a great time in Utah, but tax returns, financial statements, and the exciting world of accounting was calling me back. We said our goodbyes and loaded up the car for a 9 hour drive. I did all the driving whilst everyone else slept the night away. I only stopped for gas, and for one other thing. I drank a few 32 ounce Powerades on the drive back. Large Marge hadn't started up a conversation yet, so I thought I was doing pretty good. I wanted to keep going as far as I could without getting sleepy. So, I thought that my bladder could wait.

I was wrong. At about the halfway point I had to hurriedly pull off of the freeway and water the road. It was pitch black out by that time and not a big deal. I thought I had gotten as close to the line of wetting myself as possible without crossing it.

I was wrong, because about an hour away from our house I felt the urge again. I kept telling myself that we were almost home and I just needed to hold it a little longer. I was sweating and I could feel every little bump in the road. My bladder was full of pain(and urine). I finally gave up hope of making it home, and decided I would pull off at the next exit with a gas station. Except, with every passing off ramp there were no stations. I was really getting worried at that point. It was early morning and I couldn't just pull to the side of the road and use the cloak of the evening sky as I had before. But, I had to do something. So, I pulled off the next off-ramp to find two highway patrol cars sitting there. I got back on the freeway hoping the next exit would have some sort of bathroom. It didn't. At this point I was doing the pee pee dance in my seat. The pain intensified and it seemed like the road got more bumpy. I had gotten to a point where I worried that even if I found a place, I wouldn't make it out of the car in time. Determined not to let my bowels win I turned into the first driveway I could. As I was unbuckling my belt and unzipping my shorts I pulled the car to a stop, jumped out and ran to the nearest bush. I had made it just in time. The pain continued to flow as if my bladder were scolding me for waiting so long. Adding to the displeasure was the fact that I was in the parking lot of an evangelist church. It was early Sunday morning and I hoped nobody would pull up as I was "watering" the landscaping. I was picturing the aftermath of me being arrested for public urination and being charged with some sort of hate crime. But, the nightmare never developed. After what seemed like 5 minutes I zipped up and drove the rest of the way home. And that is the end of our trip to Utah.

Etc.

Here are a few other notes from the trip.
WARNING: If you see this sign,

keep driving. If you don't, you run the risk of becoming an Soniholic.

When my Sunday school teachers warned me about happy hour I didn't realize they were talking about Sonic. Sara and I had seen numerous advertisements for Sonic on the television and didn't pay much attention, because we had never seen one around us. Mike was well versed in the ways of Sonic and made a stop there after our first day of fishing. Sara and I gave it a try after that and were immediately hooked. We found ourselves planning activities around happy hour(The time between 2 and 4 p.m. in which all the drinks are half price). For those of you who are in the dark about Sonic, they make slushes(kind of like shaved ice) with chunks of fruit in them. They have tons of different flavors and you can make whatever combination your tongue desires. Toward the end of our trip we decided to hook Mike up with what Sara called "The Suicide". He asked us to get him a cherry-lime slush, but we decided to have them add every flavor possible. Who wouldn't enjoy all fruit flavors combined with vanilla, chocolate, coconut, Powerade, and whatever else is at the back of the fridge? When Mike got back to Kyle's and sipped on his drink he realized it wasn't exactly what he ordered. Of course, he also said it wasn't bad. We gave him his actual order and each had a taste of "The Suicide". I would have to agree with Mike. You could taste the different flavors. The flavor that won out in the end seemed to be bubble gum. When we got back to California, we immediately looked up the nearest Sonic to our house. As the tears started to well-up, we found out that we would have to travel all the way to Anaheim for happy hour. The withdrawals are still there, but it should make the future Disneyland trips even more enjoyable. I wonder what their food tastes like.

We also made a trip to the Creamery on 9th. I've never been a fan of the place and think it is the perfect example of people wanting to go there because the long line makes them think it is cool. It's just ice cream, and I think they intentionally take a while in order to give the appearance of always having a line. We ate outside which gave me the opportunity to witness a guy driving his lady friend on his scooter and slamming on his brakes to avoid passing the driveway to Subway. He came very close to laying it down. At least they were both well protected with their flip-flops, shorts and helmetless heads.

Which brings me to my next subject. While we were there the following news article was published in the paper. At first I thought it was a joke, but it turns out the author was being serious. Let me just say this, being 99th out of 200 doesn't make you good. And, the only city in Utah on the list was Salt Lake City. Most of the other cities in Utah didn't meet the population requirements. And, the only reason that there aren't nearly as many accidents in SLC as there could be is because there are so many out-of-staters who drive defensively against the natives. I'll admit that there are plenty of bad drivers in California, but the difference is that when somebody is driving badly they most likely realize they are doing it. In Utah they seem to be oblivious. No, it is not okay to turn right from whatever lane you are in. No, the bike lane isn't for cars too. No, the blinker isn't an added feature of the car that you didn't get. Yes, a helmet probably would be a good idea when you don't know how to drive a scooter. No, it is not a good idea to do a U-turn on the freeway with on-coming traffic traveling at 75 MPH. Really? That's all I have to say about that.

Bodie and Jackson enjoyed Kyle's pool table. Jackson for the pool playing,and Bodie for the delicious chalk.

Bodie also made friends with Tiffany (the cat).
Tiffany didn't exactly share the same level of interest in the friendship that Bodie did, but I think he went the entire time without getting bitten.

We also had lunch with some friends from our BYU days. (I will not reveal where we ate, but I think they were trying to set me up). Also of interest from that trip was the lady checking me out non-stop the entire time we were there. That's the power of the mohawk. Oh, and this place was along the drive:

A Day at the Museum

It was getting close to the end of our vacation and the kids wanted to get out of the house. We decided that since they are like wild animals, we would take them to visit some friends. We dedicated a day to visiting various museums. The good thing about most museums is that they are very cheap to visit. The thing I don't like about most museums is that there is the unwritten vow of silence when you are in them. It's just like the library. I don't know who came up with the whole you can't learn if you can't hear a pin drop idea, but I would like to punch them in the gut in the middle of the library and see if they would keep it quiet.

There are many museums on and around the BYU campus. We visited a few of them. The kids' favorite was the Bean Life Science Museum(which it turns out has nothing to do with legumes). Here are some pictures from the day at the museum: (As a side note, Skyler took some of these. She is really starting to get pretty good at it, in my non-professional opinion.)

Maybe this is why they want to keep it quiet in there?

I thought this guy could use a meal too.

I've been properly identified.

Monkey see.

Monkey do.

I don't know which one is more intimidating.

Geronimo was the only one brave enough to pet the iguana.

That sure was one horny elephant.

There were all kinds of wildebeests there.

Kyle's favorite animal.

Could this be the tail-end of a disagreement between cousins?

Madison loved the butterfly made of butterflies.
All in all, it was a good day. The kids liked the museums, and I finally visited them for the first time(it's not like I graduated from BYU or anything). I would have included pictures from the museum of art, but we got shut down like paparazzi outside a Betty Ford Clinic.

Welcome to Our ool

We made a trip to the pool with the kids(Knick was still with us at this point. I never claimed my posts would be chronological). It was an indoor pool, so we didn't have to worry about the kids getting burned by the sun's rays. They seemed to have an enjoyable time. Sara and Bodie didn't make the trip to the pool, because they were busy making a delicious chicken enchilada dinner. All the meals during our trip were extremely enjoyable. Sara also made some of her coca cola chicken another night, Kyle fired up the grill again, and we also enjoyed some tacos one night(just to mention a few of the meals Jed missed out on). Travel tip: To instantly clear the public pool and make it more private, just strip down to your speedo. There is photo evidence of this tip being put to use floating quite accessibly through the internets. I'll leave it up to those interested enough to look for them.

All in a Day's Work

We dedicated a day to spending time a little further north of Provo. Our first stop was the Oquirrh Mountain Temple open house.

The temple was nice. If you are ever near a new temple, I highly recommend going through the open house. Especially if you aren't a member of our church, because this is the only time you will be able to go inside(and there is always free cookies and drinks afterward). I was surprised to not have people trying to hand me pamphlets about how terrible the mormons are(maybe that is just a California thing?). It was windy and the sun was shining right in our eyes no matter where we were. See if you can tell that from the pictures.

Mike is actually wearing the tie I gave him for Father's Day!

It was at this point that we said goodbye to Knick. We cut it close getting to the airport and he ran out of the car and into the airport just in time to miss his flight by 2 minutes. He got put on the next flight and he was gone. We all missed Uncle Knick. But Knick was the true loser in all of this, because he didn't get a chance to finish the day with us.

As I previously mentioned, Jed's family was unable to join us for vacation. I haven't heard her actually say it, but I am pretty sure that Cyndi's biggest regret was not being able to enjoy some of Dee's delicious food. As you may or may not know my favorite sit-down restaurant back home is Norm's. Dee's is probably the closest thing Utah has to Norm's.

We pity the fools who don't like Dee's!

Don't mess with Dee's.

I'm pretty sure that Kyle had experienced Dee's before, but he didn't seemed too stoked about eating Dee's again.

Not long after this, I received a phone call from Mike's buttons begging me to stop taking him to such good restaurants. He couldn't help but fill himself up with Dee's.

Sara getting next to Dee's.

After filling ourselves with Dee's, we went to watch a movie about Joseph Smith. I was waiting for some new twist in the plot, but it never came. I guess all my previous studies spoiled the ending for me. Sara didn't see much of the film, as Bodie became rowdy pretty early on. After the movie we headed outside for a brief photo session.

Next stop for the day was Cabela's (or, as Mike sometimes likes to call it Caballa's). We spent a few hours in that place, and I think Mike was just hoping for them to invite him to move in. The kids liked looking at the animals and feeding the fish. They also liked the shooting gallery. Travel tip: When visiting Cabela's you might be able to score some free tokens for the shooting gallery simply by asking a worker for some. I discovered that certain targets when hit would spray water at the shooter. Using this new found knowledge I would hit targets down the row that would result in spraying other shooters. It was well worth the zero dollars spent. Since they liked shooting so much, each of the kids walked out of there with a gun of their own (toy versions, of course).