Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Shame On Me

A while back one of my cousins, whose name I won't mention(but it rhymes with Schmyson), told me that he liked my blog because it wasn't like most blogs he read. He said that most blogs just talked about how great people's spouses and children and lives were. He liked that my blog talked about other things. I then proceeded to post a week's worth of posts about how great my wife is. I'm hoping that this post will gain back some of his respect and maybe get him to like my blog again. So Schmyson, this one's for you.

Some of you may remember Sara's week long birthday celebration extravaganza. It turns out that Kentucky Fried Chicken decided to get involved with the festivities and gave out a free piece of their new grilled chicken on her birthday. All you had to do was mention her birthday, or not mention her birthday, and ask for free chicken. Due to Sara's birthday luck, there was a Kentucky Fried Chicken next door to the McDonald's that we took the kids to after Disneyland. I walked right in and was immediately served a piece of chicken. My official review of the chicken is that it was free and it didn't make me sick. So, it wasn't too bad. Given the chance, I would have eaten it again for free. The Colonel must have known about my review, because it wasn't long before they were offering more free food.

This time they were offering a free meal. I discovered this from the highly recommended Slickdeals website. Apparently the queen of the universe, Oprah, was somehow involved with offering two pieces of chicken, two sides and a biscuit. You were allowed to print out 4 coupons and my understanding was that all you had to do was bring the coupons to your local franchise between May 5th and May 19th. I printed out the coupons and at some point we loaded up the family for a free dinner.

You can imagine my dismay when we saw a sign on the door stating that due to the overwhelming demand, they would not be honoring the coupon. Instead, they would take our coupons along with our mailing address and send us new coupons that include a free drink. The manager was very polite and I could tell that his hands were tied by the higher-ups, so I didn't make a big fuss at the time. I blame myself for being tricked into thinking that Oprah would offer free food to anybody. I wonder who the genius was that came up with this promotion. Did they think that only a few people would want a free meal? Were they not familiar with Oprah and her gazillions of followers? And does anyone else think there was something wrong with the fact that I could have gotten the meals if I had paid for them, but they were claiming not to be able to meet the demand? It has been over a week since we turned over our coupons to receive other coupons and my mailbox doth not runneth over with the new coupons. KFC? More like KFU! (Kentucky Fairly Uncool. Keep your mind out of the gutter). I'm contemplating adding them to my boycott list, along with Oprah.

Which brings me to my next topic. Many have been asking about my boycott list. It isn't nearly as long as you may think. Here is the list and the reasons for the boycotts:
#1 Denny's
I used to frequent Denny's early mornings before we went out on fishing trips. It was cheap and one of the only places open at that hour. The food wasn't the greatest, but it was enough to keep you from ralphing on the boat. After a late night of dancing a group of us headed into a Denny's. It was after midnight and we were a fairly large group. We waited at the entrance to be seated. We waited, and waited, and waited and waited. The employees were glancing in our direction, but they were ignoring us. We finally decided to seat ourselves. And then we waited, and waited, and waited. After being ignored we eventually got up and left. I have never set foot in a Denny's again, and there is nothing that will convince me to go there again.
#2 Carl's Jr.
This boycott causes the most strife in our marriage. Sara is definitely not on board with this one. I like Carl's food. I really like their fried zucchini and their western bacon cheeseburger. However, I have always felt that they were overpriced. Then they started coming out with advertising that rubbed me the wrong way. I think it was around the time of the 6 dollar burger. Initially the advertising ploy was that you had to pay $6 for that kind of a burger in a sit down restaurant. I think at the time they were charging around $4 for their burger. What they weren't talking about was the fact that you usually got fries and a drink with your burger at the sit down restaurant. And now I think the $6 burger is around $6. And then the ad's just kept getting worse. They would portray men as idiots. There was one where a guy was putting a whole avocado in a blender thinking guacamole would be the end result. There was the one with the guy staring at the bread aisle in the super market and not knowing which loaf to buy. There was the one with the guys paying $20 to the guy who picked up burgers for lunch. And the list goes on and on. If they think they are going to entice me to spend a ton of cash on their food by calling me an idiot, then they have another thing coming. So, I added them to my boycott list. There may be a time in the future where I lift my boycott, but I doubt it.
#3 Magic Mountain
A long time ago I posted in a former blog about a bad experience I had at Magic Mountain. Here is what I wrote:

I previously blogged about my possible boycott of Magic Mountain and setting a deadline of July 21st to receive some sort of response to a letter that I sent. Well, the deadline has passed and I am officially boycotting Magic Mountain. The following is the letter that I wrote describing my displeasure with our experience. As a side note, there was neither an email address nor a phone number to contact them with. I had to send a letter via the postal service. So, it could in fact still be in route to Magic Mountain. Without further delay:

Dear Sir or Madam:

My name is Joshua Kelley. I am an adult leader for a youth group from our church that attended your park yesterday. Our group, including adults, consisted of twenty-one people. This letter is to express our displeasure with our overall stay.

After paying the raised rate of $15 to park, we bought our tickets and entered the park. The youth wanted to make sure they rode Tatsu, so we headed there first. After waiting in a line, with no shade or pipes that spray mist to keep cool, for over two and a half hours the ride stopped functioning and we were told that they had no idea when it would reopen. That seemed to be typical of how the day went. We expected to have long waits due to it being a Saturday, but we did not expect to have lines equipped with pipes to spray mist not to be functioning. We also did not expect to wait in long lines only to have rides continue to break down. At one point a whole corner of the park had rides not working. Due to the power outage, we were also unable to ride Batman, Scream, or Colossus. In all we were only able to experience the following: Ninja, Viper, Riddlers Revenge, Déjà vu, Goliath, Buccaneer, and the Batman Stunt Show.

The youth were happy with going on those rides, but were disappointed with not being able to ride some of the newer rides due to malfunctions. As their leader, I was more dissatisfied with the measures that were taken to help deal with the extreme heat. We made sure everyone was using sunscreen, but keeping the kids hydrated during the long waits was a major concern. Drinking fountains seemed to be scarce and the bathrooms weren't even air-conditioned.

This experience will be considered when we plan future trips for the youth. Hopefully this letter will help you identify ways to improve your park for future visitors.

Thank you for your time.

I never received a response back from them, and added them to the boycott list. I have been to Magic Mountain one time since I initiated the boycott. It was for my brother's birthday and as a gift to him I lifted the boycott. This is probably the most likely of my boycotts to be lifted some day. I really like the rides there, and get free tickets every so often at work.

#4 IKEA

Ever since they started portraying same-sex couples as traditional families in their advertising, I have been done entering in their store. Plus, the stuff we had bought from there in the past was pretty crappy anyway. So, they are on the list as well.


That is pretty much it. Along with KFC there are a few other companies that are very close to being added to the list. If Verizon's cell phone coverage wasn't so good, their customer service would get them on this list. I think Mike has mentioned adding Pizza Hut to my list. I don't go to Wendy's much anymore because they constantly forgot to put my whole order in the bag. They are probably only one or two mistakes away. If you have something that you are boycotting and would like for me to join your cause, let me know. I'm sure with our boycotts we will make some major impacts on these terrible companies.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

1. You said KFU. That's hilarious.
2. I also boycott Carl's Jr. I hate their advertising. I think my parents even called and complained once and they had some sort of excuse like, "but we're selling a lot of burgers," or something. It was ridiculous.
3. I can't stand Oprah.
4. Who is Schmyson?

Ken said...

- I'm almost with you on the KFC, plus I prefer Popeye's anyway.
- I think the Carl's boycott is weak, and should be lifted. Go celebrate by having a Western bacon cheese burger.
- Not a big fan of Magic Mountain.
- Oprah's done a lot of good, so I tolerate her.

- I dare you to boycott Ernies. Afterall, a huge roach crawled on you while in their restaurant.

Sara Kelley said...

ken,
how dare you challenge josh to boycott ernies?? i thought we were friends...
sara

L.S.Marshall said...

Oprah...when it comes to Oprah I want to use the words I learned as a construction worker. That two faced mongrel can eat my KFU dinner and fatten up again. As if it is her bank account paying for any of the "give-aways" that she does.
Carl's junior commercials are lame.
I didn't know that about Ikea, same sex marriage is not a popular Texas topic!
I have boycotted The Cheesecake Factory. Every time I have gone there the wait is ridiculously long. The last time I went we waited for almost 2 hours and we were told "it's grandma's birthday and as soon as she is done we will have your sit." Needless to say Memphis BBQ just down the road had us in our sits in 5 minutes!!!
Also I have boycotted Subaru dealerships. I went to a Subaru dealership to help a buddy of mine buy a car. We had already test drove a Cadillac Escalade, and CTS, a Lexus GS430, a Lincoln Navigator, and he wanted to see about the Subara WRX. So we walked onto the Subaru dealership from the Cadillac dealer and asked to test drive a base model WRX. We were told that if we wanted to buy the car we needed to go inside to work out a deal. I said "how do I know I want to buy the car if I haven't ever driven it or any other Subaru?" He said that he was not going to let us test drive the car just so we can have a "joy ride." I asked for the manager and he said that he had gone home. Subaru will not be getting my money.
As for your cousin Schmyson, who I am pretty sure is my brother. Only one question, Where is your blog?

Elizabeth J. said...

I didn't know that about IKEA. I have never shopped there because I am so poor. I guess I have a better excuse now.

We have tried to go to the KFC twice here and both times we were told: "sorry, we are out of chicken today." WHAT?!? No plans on going back.

P.S. Adam says if he is ever a contestant on Family Feud he wants you on his team. Just something to think about.

P.P.S. ishlipg