Cellphone DJ

If you aren't familiar with the everlasting joy that is constantly gifted by The Cellphone DJ, then you haven't checked off everything on your bucket list. For the deprived few, let me explain what Cellphone DJ is and how he came to be.

Long before "Facebook", my family and I had our own way of "Checking-in" at certain events. I don't remember who started this wonderful tradition, but it was either myself or my brother, Jed. The basic process was to use your cellphone to call other family members during important parts of the event you were attending. This started with baseball games that we were at. We would allow our parents or brothers to enjoy the National Anthem with us, or Take Me Out to the Ballgame, or an exciting part of the game. This gradually expanded to include concerts, amusement parks, or other random events. No words are ever spoken. You just call the person and let the surrounding sounds do the rest. The person answering on the other end of the phone would be treated to the fun of trying to figure out what they were hearing and where it might be coming from. There really aren't any rules involved with this. There is no consideration taken for what time the event might be occurring, which makes late-night concerts particularly enjoyable.
A few months back I was faced with a couple of troubling dilemmas. First, I was piling up thousands of rollover minutes on my cellphone. The truth is, I hardly ever use my cellphone as an actual phone. I prefer to communicate through text messages, emails, Facebook posts, and our land line at home. Any way of avoiding actual vocal conversation is preferred. So, the thousands of rollover minutes were starting to expire. That was making me feel like I wasn't getting the full value of what I was paying for. And since I am a cheapskate, I knew I had to do something with those minutes.

Secondly, I was starting to get bored with my commute to and from work. I was putting in the effort to make the drive entertaining. Trying to figure out what personalized license plates meant, creating acronyms for the license plates that weren't personalized, having dance parties in the car, challenging other drivers to car dance party battles, freestyle rapping, playing games of "slugbug" against myself, yelling at bad drivers, rolling down the window and hanging out of the window to yell at bad drivers. Frankly, road rage was starting to creep into my daily drive. I needed to figure out something new to keep me occupied on my way to and from work.One day, in a stroke of genius, I came up with a way to solve both dilemmas. That is when I morphed from a normal, very handsome, man into the superhuman personified version of awesomeness known as Cellphone DJ. I could use my cellphone minutes AND keep myself occupied during my commute by allowing not-so-random people on my contact list enjoy the music I was listening to. It was genius! Not only would I solve my two problems, but I would also be providing a wonderful service to others! The Cellphone DJ listener list started with a select few. Of course, all of my family was a part of the initial play list. Then gradually extended family were blessed with the pleasure of experiencing Cellphone DJ. Friends started getting added to the list, and the Cellphone DJ fan base started growing like the hair of a Chia Pet. Based on the good reviews from listeners, more and more people were being added to the list. I now spend my entire commute trying to meet the demands of my fans.These may be a few questions you have about Cellphone DJ:

1. How does the Cellphone DJ decide what songs to play for his listeners?
Not having a functioning cassette player, cd player or the ability to hook up an mp3 player to my car stereo system, I play music that is currently being played on the radio while I drive.

2. Does the Cellphone DJ choose specific listeners for certain songs?
Not very often. However, there have been times where requests have been played.

3. Does the Cellphone DJ consider the time of day and what time zones his listeners are in?
Nope.

4. Is the reaction to receiving a call from the Cellphone DJ as good as the Cellphone DJ imagines it is?
It is scientifically proven to be even better than the Cellphone DJ imagines.

5. If I call the Cellphone DJ, will my call be answered with music?
Most likely.

6. Has the Cellphone DJ ever merged calls to reach more listeners at once?
Yes, on many occasions.

7. How does one get on the Cellphone DJ's listener list?
If I have your cellphone number, if you post your phone number on Facebook, or if you make a request at the Cellphone DJ website, you will be added to the list(to check out the web page, click here).

8. Can someone be removed from the listener list?
I can't imagine anyone wanting that to occur.

9. Can I help the Cellphone DJ improve his quality control?
The comments section on the web page provides you with a way to help improve the process.
And that is how Cellphone DJ came to be. AT&T must have recognized the charitable work that the Cellphone DJ was doing, because they recently upgraded his cellphone plan to include free mobile-to-mobile minutes. Now the music will never stop!